THIS SENSE OF MINE

I knew nothing of how my ambivalent soul would lead me into just another rift,

I never perceive how my surroundings noticed me….

I’m sinking deeply into my deepest fright,

Thus, I can’t even sense my inner being; it’s all just collapsing down within me….

Believing in the sense of love which I shouldn’t have been,

A deeper affection towards someone, I shouldn’t have felt it…

I know how I can see what is in front of me,

Yet my heart still yearning for that warmth that I never sense in…

Careless mind and this careless heart,

Watching me up and down due to my broken heart,

You’re someone that I love,

But you broke my heart…

Forgetting you, which I never be able to…

Loving you, don’t need you to ask me to…

Holding you, is what I’ve been wishing for…

Leaving you, is what I never want to think of…

How I felt when you left my side,

How I felt when you go to a distant far away,

Million miles would never let this love could fade away,

How I wish you could be with me, just by my side….

Never want to admit that I love you right now,

Never want to hurt you is just another thing,

Never want to say how I feel about you; yes sure I’m a coward

Cause just by watching you, I feel so damn content….

Yet the distant between us ain’t let this sense of me down,

Yet the distant between us just make me realize how I really love you…

Tears and this riddle heart that needs be to be solved,

Why isn’t this going anywhere, you seems to be unsolved….

It’s not one and the same air I breathe when you go later on,

It’s not the indistinguishable feeling I get when you leave me later on,

It’s ain’t hard for me to leave you,

Yet it’s a damn pain cause I can’t forget you….

You make me change to what I’m not,

But you know me better and I truly hate it

How can I mock you, if I like you?

How can I leave you, if I love you?

I yearn to go to the place where you are,

The fact is just that, I like you for whoever you are…

I don’t care if you dislike me or talk badly of me,

What I only care is how I could see you without you noticing me…

This isn’t a fairytale, cause this is hell,

This isn’t going anywhere; it’s just stuck for a while,

This isn’t about like or love; this is about you, and me

This isn’t about what I felt; it’s all about how you felt…

I’m waiting you to come back,

Isn’t going to care if you’re not coming back…

Want to love you still,

Even though you don’t love me back….

This is a foolish thing, foolishly enough for me to go through,

This is the stupidest moment ever, stupidly enough for me to go insane,

This is the pain that I used to feel, painfully enough to rip me upside down,

And this is the love that now I feel, yet no words I would able to found to describe it….

I can only say that it’s not the end…